Child Discipline in Different Cultures Can we find some common ground when it comes to disciplining children? The author investigates this question and provides interesting insights into the differences in the way people discipline their children. She contends that in the United States, the “absurd” notion of spanking as a child discipline method is really a very limited one, and that there is a definite connection between child discipline and cultures.
The author begins by describing the different types of discipline and then looks at how these vary with respect to the culture of the parents, the child himself/herself, and the circumstances surrounding the parenting and the child discipline. It is found that there are two types of parenting styles: Dominant/Inverted and Non Dominant/Inverted.
Inverted Type Of Parenting
A parent whose child is being disciplined is likely to exhibit the dominant/inverted type of parenting, while a parent who is not disciplined is more likely to exhibit the non-dominant/inverted style of parenting. The child who is experiencing discipline is more likely to internalize that which the parent instructs him/her to do, but the child who is being disciplined is more likely to experience the tension between what he/she wants and what he/she does not want. In some ways, the child who is being disciplined is undergoing a conflict within his/her self to decide what he/she wants versus what the parent says.
No Universal Child Discipline Principle
Is it possible to find universal child discipline principles and practices and apply them equally in all cultures? The author concludes that there is no universal child discipline principle because there are so many different cultures and individuals within every civilization. In order for there to be universal principles, child discipline would have to be uniform across cultures, and that is virtually impossible. Yet there are universal principles that parents practice on their children. The principles are usually based on love, trust, safety, and fairness.
Parental love is the most important aspect of child discipline. When a parent loves his/her child he/she is willing to establish a relationship of consistency and reliability. A child who has love receives love. It is a two way street. You can love your child and still expect to have to withstand some tough love from time to time. The willingness of both parents to be consistent in their application of child discipline is essential. Children learn by example, if their parents are consistently inconsistent in their expectations, then the child will become the receiver of this poor behavior. Parents who discipline their children through love and trust do not have to be harsh; they simply model the behavior that they expect of their children. Their children will see them and will imitate them.
Child discipline can be broken down into a few simple rules. The first rule is: don’t talk about what is going on in your house. It is best for parents to keep their emotions under control when discussing their child’s behavior with their child discipline counselor or when they are in one-on-one sessions. If you feel that talking about your child’s behavior is helping your child to realize his/her inappropriate behavior then do so but do not discuss what is going on in your house behind their back.
The Second Rule
If you don’t talk to your child about something that is bothering you then don’t do it. This goes back to the point about not being harsh. You should talk to your child about the rules and the consequences of breaking them. If parents fail to discuss their child’s misbehavior and then fail to correct it, then the child’s misbehavior will only continue to get worse.
The Third And The Last Rule
Be sure to reward your child when he/she does something right. It is often difficult to teach children because they are used to getting rewarded when doing wrong. Children learn by performing. If you are consistent with this rule then your child discipline efforts will be more effective. Make sure you reward your child and do it often. This helps to encourage your child to keep up their good behavior.